Here’s the thing people, being a mom is effing hard.
It doesn’t matter how badly you wanted your babies. It doesn’t matter how much you love your children. It doesn’t matter if motherhood is the best thing that ever happened to you or the worst.
At the end of the day, being a mother is a hard job.
It never ends, there are no real breaks.
The “breaks” you do get are just illusions. You either spend your “break” catching up on a million different things you haven’t gotten around to OR you relax and then the very second it’s over you remember the long list of things you were supposed to be doing and then spend the next interval of parenting feeling guilty, stressed and distracted by the growing list of responsibilities you now have in the back of your mind but can’t get to until your children are in bed.
Now let me interrupt myself. I have to point out here. I have to be very clear. I complain about my kids. I’m not perfect. I refer to them as little jerks and call them wild animals and I whine about having to do 10 loads of laundry a week.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t LOVE being a mom. That doesn’t mean I want my life to be any other way. It doesn’t mean my kids are actual jerks and I don’t actually keep them in cages. I love being smothered with their attention. I’m honoured to be their number one.
Is it exhausting? Is it the hardest damn job in the world? YES.
Are my complaints a secret coded message saying I want the circus to stop by and pick up my kids? NO.
I just want to workout in the morning, drink my coffee while it’s still hot and have enough energy at the end of the day to do more than pass out in a pile of drool and laundry on the living room floor.
I’m pregnant with my 3rd child. That’s not going to happen for a long time.
But don’t take me too seriously. I also want to live in a climate where I don’t need snow tires or even a car with a roof for that matter.
I want to eat macaroni and cheese with all the butter and none of the calories.
I want to drink a couple bottles of wine with my girlfriends ( preferably on the beach ) and wake up without a hangover.
I want a private jet.
I want a teleportation device between mine and my family member’s house.
See my point here?
Wanting my kids to sleep in so I can have a cup of coffee is actually the most reasonable hope I have to hold onto.
I think I need to to get back to my point here.
Motherhood is hard. And time consuming. And exhausting. And sometimes, soul-sucking.
It’s HARD people.
So the other stuff we do in our lives, the other parts of us that we manage to fit in in between all the mommy stuff. That stuff needs to be easy.
Exercise, nutrition, meal planning, socializing, THAT stuff needs to be easy. Effortless even. It needs to slip seamlessly into our days because let’s be honest here ladies, it is already too hard for it to be hard to do a workout. Let alone to do a hard workout.
My friend, coach and all-out inspiration Jessie Mundell reminds all her mama clients ( she is the go-to for all things pre & postnatal ) that:
“When life stress is high, exercise stress should be low.”
-Jessie Mundell of Mundell Lifestyles
This is a simple and brilliant concept. It’s 100% true. And yet somehow the media, or the industry, or whoever else is making money off of our misery has convinced us that we are supposed to “rise & grind” in the first year as mothers and “bounce back” into optimum shape ASAP following childbirth.
And yet, if we are listening to Jessie’s advice – which we all should BTW seriously go check her out here – then we should spend at LEAST the first year (if not the first 4 ha!) of motherhood practicing low-stress, low-impact, gentle, loving, restorative, nurturing exercise.
We should not be doing 21-day fixes or Body Makeovers. We should not be running races. Or running anywhere for that matter.
Yet year after year, month after month, and day after day, every time we turn on a television, open a magazine or browse social media we are bombarded with images of women who we are “soooo impressed by” and “sooooo proud of” because they bounced back from the horrible atrocity that is pregnancy and childbirth.
Why are we villainizing the bodies that gave us babies? Why are we hating on the vessel and home of our babies on their journey into this world?
I won’t do it anymore. I’m done. At 19 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child I am DONE hating on this super sweet baby making machine that is my ever-loving body. It took too long, I’ll admit. But I’m done. From here on out, I only love it with tender kindness, share it’s knowledge and experience with other mamas, and give it the support it needs in order for it to be the support I need.
Let’s remember what Jessie told a few hundred words ago(I may have gotten a little ranty and off track up there :D) ..
“When life stress is high, exercise stress should be low.”
So there you have it mamas. And daddies. And teenagers and seniors and who ever else is reading this.
When you aren’t getting enough sleep, when you are physically overwhelmed with healing, when you are emotionally overwhelmed ( hormonal or otherwise), when you are worrying 24/7 about the health and well-being of one or more tiny humans under your care then the exercise you choose to integrate into your hectic life (because let’s be honest, SOME exercise is good for us) MUST and I mean MUST be low-stress.
Now, when I say low stress, or easy, I want to be clear about what I mean:
- It should NOT be painful for your body to perferm your exercise.
- It should NOT be difficult to fit your workout into your day (20-30 minutes).
- It should NOT be exhausting or make-you-wanna-puke exertion.
- It should NOT strain or stress the parts of your body that you are currently healing.
And on the other hand:
- It should be enjoyable.
- It should promote healing.
- It should fit (relatively) easily into your day.
- It should be relaxing and/or energizing.
This is what we are missing here mamas. We are putting our bodies through hour-long(ew, or longer) strenuous, “hard-core” workouts in the pursuit of goals that are ultimately unnecessary to a new mom. What we need is energy, healing, love, and a little fun.
So, please, stop with the running, jumping and other intense exercise torture you are putting yourself through. Let your body get better. Find a program that’s made for moms. Find a program that has your and your body’s best health at it’s core. Find a program that’s enjoyable, and most of all sustainable.
I searched for the perfect program and when I didn’t find it, I decided to create it myself. The program for moms who want to exercise, eat well, reach their goals and have fun. All while respecting the boundaries of a pregnant/postpartum body.
Enter the Better Fit Sisterhood. I have created a program around safe and effective workouts that fit into your busy day. No more than 20 minutes and so easy to follow that they REALLY only take 20 minutes. I’ve included recipes for you and your family that are both good to eat and fun to make with your kiddos, too. Most importantly, I’ve added a mindset element that is exactly what we need when we are trying to reach a goal. It digs deep into our “why”, and helps us discover our path to “how” we will make it all happen. You will be stronger not only physically, but mentally where the changes really count. A strong, empowered mind is what will truly allow you to reach your goals, create sustainable habits and never lose sight of the reason you started in the first place.
Get all the info and grab your spot in the Better Fit Sisterhood by clicking over to jillianbrittany.com/bfsisterhood. But hurry! Registration closes Friday at Midnight.
See you there,