The Hunt For Motherhood

I’ve been learning from her since day one. Literally.

She’s taught me everything I know about motherhood. She’s taught me more about life than I know yet, but I continue to uncover her wisdom day after day, as I grow into motherhood myself.

I have lived by her words and her guidance for my entire life. And I’ve always admired her outlook, her mindset, her ability to persevere and above all, her patience. Because while it impresses me, it was not impressed upon me. I did not inherit patience. But I admire it.

mom and my oldest sister, Bizz
My daughter, Sandra Charlotte, named for my mother and my mother’s mother

In my lifelong hero, the woman who made me who I am and most of all, never tried to stop me from becoming it. She even let me hurt when it would have been so easy for her to take it away. When it was harder to watch me to go through it, she knew it was better for me to grow through it. She has never failed me, because her faith in me has never faultered, even when I was wrong.

And without further ado, I bring you your first slice of the wisdom beheld by her, my mother: Sandra June Hunt.

Over the next few weeks, I will ask her a series of questions, posed me and my siblings, with the intention of bringing forth the knowledge, wisdom and truth that lie in between the women in a family. As they move into, through and beyond motherhood. What each part of motherhood means to them. To us.

I invite you along to get to know each of us. To hear our stories, to learn our truths as we recount them, and as we hear each other’s for the first time. As we get to know each other and ourselves in a whole new light.

You will learn more than our names, but who we are. Within motherhood and without it. But to begin, I ask my own mom 2 questions. Two simple questions, but they are the beginning of this story. I mean, we can’t go back all the way. But to the beginning of my own mother’s motherhood. Here it is, the first answers, the beginning of the journey,

on                                The Hunt for Motherhood

I asked:

When did you know you wanted to be a mom?

I’m not sure what answer I was looking for, but I like the one I got. There are some things you sort of assume about your parents, mothers in particular. But do you ever really ask? Do you know the answer, or just have your own version of the story. That’s why I asked. I want to know her story like I would that of a new friend, of a peer. But obviously, with all the wisdom and experience of one who has already raised 4 children and moved onto grandparenthood.

She answered:

“I always assumed I would be a mom some day. When I was 28, I was losing interest in my job, ready to take on something new. The time felt right to start a family. At the time it was not a financially practical decision, but I have no regrets. It continues to be my most satisfying and rewarding experience.”

I asked:
What is the most important thing you learned from your mom? 
I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to ask this. Only because, if you asked me the same one, I wouldn’t know the answer. Or at least, not just one answer. She has taught me everything, how could I make it just one thing? And how, in my early years of motherhood, could I know what was the most important? But I still had to ask. I wanted to know what lessons carried through from her childhood to adulthood and motherhood. And when she answered, it was perfect.
She answered:
“The most important thing I learned from my mom is, that even though you will not always like the things your children are doing, your job is to listen to them, love them and honor who they are. She was right!”
This is it. This is the reason I wanted to ask these questions. Because this answer is everything. This answer says so much about my own upbringing. It also gives me guidance into the the kind of parent I intend to be. And when the day to day of raising young kids starts to drown me, I can remember these words.
So whether you learn from my mom,  take these questions and ask them of your own mom, or ask them of yourself, I hope you learn something. I hope you grow. I hope this takes you to a new level of motherhood. We are all in this together, because although motherhood is ever changing, it is also constant. Once a mother, in whatever capacity, you can be become un-mothered. It’s in us. Motherhood is in us.
As we embark on this journey, on this Hunt for Motherhood, I ask you to read, walk and love with an open heart and open mind. Just like my own mother taught me to do.