Divining Your Dreams

5 Tips for Making New Year #goals That Actually Stick

 

The onset of a new year is one of the most controversial times of the year. Like one year we’re making resolutions, the next we’re swearing them off. Then it’s a new year’s challenge, then it’s #fuckchallenges. It feels like we can never get it right. No matter what you want to do going into a New Year it feels like everywhere you look someone is telling you it’s the wrong thing to do.

 

Honestly I can’t keep up. With 3 little kids at home I can barely keep up with the laundry let alone what I am and am not allowed to do in the New Year. The fact is, New Year’s Eve represents a new beginning, and with it, an opportunity for change. The calendar turns over and it’s literally a new year, so why not implement some changes?

 

If every day is an opportunity to start anew, then there is no reason we can’t have a new beginning on January 1st. 

 

Look, I’m not here to tell you there’s something wrong with your life. I’m sure you have everything you ever dreamed of: the job, family, body, house and lifestyle you’ve always wished for.

You’ve got it all right?

But entertain me here, for a moment, say you didn’t. Say you still had some lingering bad habits, some late night bingeing you could kick? Maybe a little shopping addiction that needs to hit the road? Or are you still giving your work just a “good enough” effort? Yea, let’s dig into that.

Like I said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. But if you are still reading, then there are definitely things you want to change. And only you have the power to do that, no matter what time of year it is. But why not take the opportunity of a New Year as a “new beginning” and grab life by the ovaries and really get what you want?

Seriously girl, why not?

If you want it, why not go for it? Well, I can answer that. Because you don’t know how. Trust me if it was that easy I wouldn’t hit snooze an undisclosed number of times every morning. There is a way, you can have the things you want. We all can. There’s just a few steps you have to take first.

Now how ever you word this, however it works for you: resolution, #newyearnewme, or just #goals, I am here to bring you the best way to do it, and manifest the fuck outta your dreams without feeling like shit about the way things are now.  Cause that’s the reason we’re making changes isn’t it? So we can stop feeling awful, exhausted, fat, ugly, lazy whatever poisionous words you’re throwing in the mirror. Let’s kick that habit and get better. Starting today; here’s my top 5 tips for #goals-setting this New Year:

1. Decide how you want to feel, not how you want to look. 

So many of us have goals that are centred around health and fitness. I mean, it’s one of our biggest struggles, not just how we look but how we feel about how we look. This goes for material things too. We are always comparing what we have to next mom, and that is no way to get what you want out of this beautiful thing called life.

Now I’m all for the kind of goals that get you your dream body, or driving that LandRover, whatever your thing is, but let’s be clear, if that is your goal, you will not make it happen, or at least not with integrity.

You must make your goals about how you want to feel. So if it’s your body, you need to visualize how it would feel to have that body. Would you feel healthy, strong, energetic? Would you feel powerful, full of potential? Are you searching for financial security, financial abundance, or success? All of these are good, but you need to understand that there is a lot more than just dollars involved in getting what you want. You have to be that person the day you start working toward the goal.

2. Understand what a habit is and how you form new ones.

A habit is something you do over and over without needing to be reminded. It’s the coffee you drink the second you get up. It’s the shit-talk you give yourself when you’re trying to squeeze into your dreams. It’s the workout you talk yourself out of and it’s the snooze I hit over and over, morning after morning.

If you really want to form new habits, which is what making is all about, you have to let go of the old ones. That being said, you can’t just decide on a list of new habits and kick the old ones out on the way. They have been with you a long time. You will need daily reminders of what you want and don’t want. You will need accountability. You will need a plan and you will also need to give yourself grace to slip up.

You will also need integrity. When things don’t go the way you planned you have to take responsibility (without beating yourself up) and move on. Wake up the next day and be a bad ass. Remain responsible and in control of your habits, because that’s all they are.

3. Make plans – real dates & times. 

Be specific about what you want. If you want to get up and workout every day then decide on a time, set an alarm, decide how long, how many times, and what you’re going to do. Going to bed, setting an alarm and thinking “Yea I’ll workout tomorrow” will not make it happen. Not a bit. You have to have a plan. You have to know exactly what you’re going to do when your feet hit that cold hard floor.

The same goes for business, family, finances. Be specific. With numbers, dates, tasks. Whatever it is. You want a big promotion? Put in the time. You want to strike out on your own? Figure out how to save enough to make it happen. Make a plan. Write it down. Study it, memorize it. Allow it to be flexible but know what you want and how you’re going to get it.

4. Specific – NOT perfect.

You read #3. You panicked: “I don’t know what’s going to happen next year, I can’t promise this, what if I get a flat tire and have to spend my savings, what if my company goes under, or I get pregnant, or or or or”. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. These thoughts are totally normal. Which is why you are going to make a plan.

So that when you start to doubt, and panic, and think you’re not cut out for that big job, or you’ll never have that body, that you can always come back to the plan. See what you wrote, see the specific framework you created and believe in it again.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. I repeat: It does not have to be perfect. It just has to be.

Action over everything else.

5. If you’re going to make changes, make sure you actually want those things.

Oh, I could say this over, and over and over again. I could pound it into your head. You would still find yourself chasing someone else’s dream. It’s so hard to shut off what the rest of the world wants for you and from you and actually go after what you want.

I have been chasing other people’s dreams for years, only to end up back where I started because I had no fuel for the fire I was trying to keep burning day after day, year after year.

Until I actually sat down, did the work, put in the time and searched my soul to find what I really wanted.

I don’t want it to take you years to get what you want. I want you to get it this year. So I have a gift for you. I created a “cheat sheet” of sorts, for getting what you want. I know how hard it is to sort through all the clutter in your mind so I am helping you along the way by narrowing it down to a few quick questions that will help you find the thing that you can really do this year. Because you can. I promise you. It’s all in your hands.

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