The Hunt For Motherhood

I’ve been learning from her since day one. Literally.

She’s taught me everything I know about motherhood. She’s taught me more about life than I know yet, but I continue to uncover her wisdom day after day, as I grow into motherhood myself.

I have lived by her words and her guidance for my entire life. And I’ve always admired her outlook, her mindset, her ability to persevere and above all, her patience. Because while it impresses me, it was not impressed upon me. I did not inherit patience. But I admire it.

mom and my oldest sister, Bizz
My daughter, Sandra Charlotte, named for my mother and my mother’s mother

In my lifelong hero, the woman who made me who I am and most of all, never tried to stop me from becoming it. She even let me hurt when it would have been so easy for her to take it away. When it was harder to watch me to go through it, she knew it was better for me to grow through it. She has never failed me, because her faith in me has never faultered, even when I was wrong.

And without further ado, I bring you your first slice of the wisdom beheld by her, my mother: Sandra June Hunt.

Over the next few weeks, I will ask her a series of questions, posed me and my siblings, with the intention of bringing forth the knowledge, wisdom and truth that lie in between the women in a family. As they move into, through and beyond motherhood. What each part of motherhood means to them. To us.

I invite you along to get to know each of us. To hear our stories, to learn our truths as we recount them, and as we hear each other’s for the first time. As we get to know each other and ourselves in a whole new light.

You will learn more than our names, but who we are. Within motherhood and without it. But to begin, I ask my own mom 2 questions. Two simple questions, but they are the beginning of this story. I mean, we can’t go back all the way. But to the beginning of my own mother’s motherhood. Here it is, the first answers, the beginning of the journey,

on                                The Hunt for Motherhood

I asked:

When did you know you wanted to be a mom?

I’m not sure what answer I was looking for, but I like the one I got. There are some things you sort of assume about your parents, mothers in particular. But do you ever really ask? Do you know the answer, or just have your own version of the story. That’s why I asked. I want to know her story like I would that of a new friend, of a peer. But obviously, with all the wisdom and experience of one who has already raised 4 children and moved onto grandparenthood.

She answered:

“I always assumed I would be a mom some day. When I was 28, I was losing interest in my job, ready to take on something new. The time felt right to start a family. At the time it was not a financially practical decision, but I have no regrets. It continues to be my most satisfying and rewarding experience.”

I asked:
What is the most important thing you learned from your mom? 
I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to ask this. Only because, if you asked me the same one, I wouldn’t know the answer. Or at least, not just one answer. She has taught me everything, how could I make it just one thing? And how, in my early years of motherhood, could I know what was the most important? But I still had to ask. I wanted to know what lessons carried through from her childhood to adulthood and motherhood. And when she answered, it was perfect.
She answered:
“The most important thing I learned from my mom is, that even though you will not always like the things your children are doing, your job is to listen to them, love them and honor who they are. She was right!”
This is it. This is the reason I wanted to ask these questions. Because this answer is everything. This answer says so much about my own upbringing. It also gives me guidance into the the kind of parent I intend to be. And when the day to day of raising young kids starts to drown me, I can remember these words.
So whether you learn from my mom,  take these questions and ask them of your own mom, or ask them of yourself, I hope you learn something. I hope you grow. I hope this takes you to a new level of motherhood. We are all in this together, because although motherhood is ever changing, it is also constant. Once a mother, in whatever capacity, you can be become un-mothered. It’s in us. Motherhood is in us.
As we embark on this journey, on this Hunt for Motherhood, I ask you to read, walk and love with an open heart and open mind. Just like my own mother taught me to do.

5 Ways to Fit Your Workout In This Week

 

I could give you all the free workouts in the world, direct you to all the right YouTube channels, and tell you the best foods to eat to fuel your workouts. I could even buy those foods and put them in your fridge. I could come over to your house and do your workout with you, but if you’re not willing to make time in your life, and create a habit of regular exercise, then you just aren’t going to get it done.

 

All the expensive yoga clothes in the world aren’t going to make you go to that class, if it’s not a priority.

 

The membership to the nicest gym, the one with the best open hours, or the closest one to your office, just ISn’t going to make you get off your ass and do the work.

 

We have to know how to make it work. We have to decide that our health is the most important factor in our lives.

 

Even writing this list, sharing with you my BEST tips for fitting in a workout, won’t make you workout. But if you use these tips to take action, then you will put yourself on the right track to living your best and healthiest life.

 

I truly, in my heart, want EVERYONE to live a long, healthy and happy life.

 

It breaks my heart when I can’t change one person’s perspective on their own well being.

 

But that’s not my responsibility. My responsibility is to use my experience and knowledge and share what I have learned with as many people as possible, and just hope that they will take it to heart and make a change.

So here they, my 5 BEST tips for Fitting in your workout this week:

 

  1. Get up earlier – I’ve said it before and I’m going to keep saying it until you people finally clue in. Go to bed 30 minutes earlier. Turn off the TV, put your phone away, and go to sleep. Set your alarm and get up before your kids and whoever else lives in your house and workout. You will be dragging the first couple of days but it will improve your life from every angle. You will feel better from the jump, having moved your body right away. You will have more patience, having had a few minutes alone. This is the biggest change you can make with the least amount of effort.
  2. Don’t turn on the TV until you’ve done your workout – Now will you make it work? How about you can’t look at your phone until you’ve done work out? If you enforce an incentive like that, all of a sudden it makes it possible to fit it in. I think of it like being a kid and mom says you have to do your homework before you can play. Do your homework!! And then you can watch this week’s episode of the Kardashians.
  3. Ask for help – One of those people who is constantly saying “if you ever need a hand”. Get them to watch your kids for 30 minutes so you can sweat. Tell your husband/ partner/ parent, “I need 10/20/30 minutes to workout.” And then go do it. The dishes will always need to be done, the laundry will always pile up, but if you see an opportunity in your day when you can fit in the workout, DO IT. Even if it means sharing your responsibilities with a friend or family member. This IS what friends are for.
  4. Plan it – Pick 2-3 days a week, pick a time of day that works for you, and COMMIT. This is hard for us moms, because our schedules are unpredictable especially the younger our kids are. But I know you could at least say, “Monday morning, Wednesday night, Friday morning.” So Monday morning you don’t fit it in till 11:45 am. That’s okay, you’re going to make it work because it’s on the schedule ( you put it there). Wednesday night, you have to PVR your favourite show any way so wait an extra 30 minutes to watch it because you have to fit in your workout. Friday morning comes and you actually kind of like doing those deadlifts so you’re looking forward to getting up and having a little quiet time with your weights.
  5. Do it with your kids – What I mean by this is, stop waiting for them to be asleep, or out of the house, or otherwise occupied. Just start doing it. They will annoy you, of course they will. But they will also annoy you if you don’t workout. In fact you will deal with them a lot better once you’ve had your workout. If they want to join you, which they likely will, give them their own resistance band and have at it. If they think that what you’re doing is boring, then let them find something else to do. This, like any other practice, will be strange at first, but if you start today, and for two weeks your kids act weird about it, then by the end of the month they will be used to it. As in by the time they’re done school and activities and no one to annoy but you for two months. Just one more reason to start today.

 

I know you can implement at least one of these tips this week and get at least one workout in. Or implement them all get all your workouts in. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. That’s what friends are for. That’s what family is for.

 

Your physical and mental health are so much more important than your shows on TV. Or your Facebook newsfeed. They really are. And once you get that, you will see how much time you actually have to exercise and focus on improving your life.

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It’s okay for your kids to see you workout. If you had seen someone workout daily when you were a child it would probably be a habit for you by now. Why not give your kids a head start.

 

It’s okay to workout and let your kids be bored for a few minutes. Kids are no good at being bored these days. I know because mine are particularly bad at it. But we have to let them do their own thing sometimes, or we will never get time to do ours.

 

I genuinely want you to exercise. I see all the good it brings into my life and I want that for you. I want everyone to wake up happy and excited about the day.

 

Right now, for example, I’ve already been up for two hours and my kids are still sleeping. This is when I write, so it’s important for me to get up first.

 

But I’ll tell you, now that I know it’s 7:00 am and their usual wake up time, I can’t wait to see them!

 

How do you really feel like that? That you can’t wait to see your kids? I’m guessing not that often. I used to DREAD the moment when their cries would wake me.

 

Now I’m anticipating their little footsteps as I’m finishing my second cup of coffee…

 

<3 now.. what’s for breakfast?